Comments on: The Highs and the Lows (or, accepting that it ain’t all roses)

By: Cara

Cara — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:56:50 +0000

I could have written this post. It can be so, so hard. I typically don’t talk as much about the negatives, but I do on occasion. Partly because I need the outlet and also because I want my daughter to read it someday. Someday when she has her own baby. I want her to know that what she is going through, all of it, the ups and downs, has happened before. That it is normal. I want her to be able to share that experience with me and know that I’ve been there.

By: Myg

Myg — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 01:35:48 +0000

Parenting is demanding enough without making it harder on yourself because of what a book, or your parents, or your frustrated partner suggest.

Amen, sister. I get so frustrated trying to make sense of all the shit people tell me and what I read. It seems everyone knows exactly how to parent, yet everything they say contradicts everything you’re told, or what you think. I think some people forget what it’s like to slog through new motherhood, groping in the dark, trying and failing at a million things a day until you find the thing that’s going to work for your child.

It is a thrill though, huh?

Thanks for a great blog carnival idea.

By: Gala

Gala — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 20:56:52 +0000

Very well said. Trying to be a good parent is the hardest thing anyone can do. Your relationships with everyone will take on a different angle, and sometimes there is adjustments that need to happen with those relationships due to your new perspective.
Yes, you are the mother and should trust yourself. Don’t be too worried about always holding to the rules/guidelines you set yourself. If you normally don’t let your baby cry to sleep, but decide that one night you will do just that, then do it and don’t feel bad or a hypocrit for doing it. Hey, you’re the mom, and you can make the rules bend to your needs–and never feel guilty about that. It is all in keeping your sanity. Maia will turn out just fine as long as she knows her mommy and daddy love her.
You’re a great mom, and the journey is very long to stress out too much about every little thing.

By: A Lighter Side of the Recession: Having a Baby in 2009 « GrudgeMom

A Lighter Side of the Recession: Having a Baby in 2009 « GrudgeMom — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:14:35 +0000

[...] Tatiana: The Highs and the Lows (or, accepting that it ain’t all roses) [...]

By: Lori

Lori — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:28:36 +0000

“Yet there have been times that I think I’m a horrible wife and mother, that I’ll never make both of them and myself happy, or that if I could just get away from them for half an hour, the world would make sense again.”—Oh lady, I have totally been there.

I did choose to write a little bit about my low points on my blog for a few reasons: 1) It really did make me feel better and 2) I don’t think women talk about it enough. A bunch of my friends had babies in ‘08 and acted like the whole thing was a breeze. Then I had my baby and at moments felt like I was the worst mother/wife/daughter ever. It wasn’t until I posted about it that my friends started to tell me what their early days of motherhood were REALLY like.

You aren’t alone. Sending big hugs your way from Florida!

By: Babies of 2009 Blog Carnival

Babies of 2009 Blog Carnival — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 13:10:09 +0000

[...] Tatiana @ It Was a Very Good Year: The Highs and the Lows (or, accepting that it ain’t all roses) 02. Nicole @ Grudge Mom: A Lighter Side of the Recession: Having a Baby in 2009 03. Emma @ Baby [...]

By: Jinxy

Jinxy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:53:54 +0000

Being in charge of this little person’s well being is the hardest thing I have ever done. Its strange people say it all the time and you think “what ever I’ve dealt with a,b and c before, I can take care of a baby” but you have no idea. All those people are right, but of course when your in the thick of the hard parts you feel so alone. You are no alone.

By: natasha the exile on Mom Street

natasha the exile on Mom Street — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 11:41:22 +0000

It can be very, very hard.

I always laughed at those military ads, I think US Army, but I could be wrong, that called it “The Toughest Job You’ll Ever Love.” because they seemed much better suited to describe parenthood than an actual, paying, JOB.

I think that while it’s nice to regard your blog as love letter to your child (and yourself) to be cherished in the future, it’s even more important to be honest (which you’ve done in a lovely and gentle way here) to help both of you in the present as well.

By: Diane

Diane — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 11:04:57 +0000

Great post! I love how you described going back to read this when she’s older, wanting to remember the good things. But do give yourself permission, once in a while, to talk about how hard it is. Should Maia have children one day, those words might be invaluable to her. In fact, one of the things that has helped me through the hard times, when one of my girls just won’t sleep or won’t eat, is when my mom tells me, “Oh, you did exactly the same thing at that age. That was really, really hard.” When you’re a mom, (or at least for me, as a mom) you really want nothing more than to just feel like this is all NORMAL. I think you have done that so well here, highlighting that it’s not always sunshine and daisies in such a way that you also aren’t making it into the Worst Thing Ever. Well said.