GTT: Crazy Roommate Stories
Published October 8, 2009 | 
This Girl Talk Thursday, we’re interested in hearing your crazy roommate stories! I wish I had something crazy to tell you all about here, but I’ve never had a “roommate” unless you count Chris or, when we were very young, my sister.
So, I’m gonna talk about Chris.
Chris and I are really similar when it comes to our housekeeping habits, or lack thereof. Every once in awhile, though, he blows my mind with how damned messy he is.
For example, here’s a stack of dishes he left beside the sink awhile ago:
Let’s talk about the things you see here: a spoon, a bowl, a small plate, and a large plate. Okay, that’s cool.
But there’s also: a bill, a pen, a tissue, a sock, and a gum wrapper.
Seriously dude? Couldn’t you just clear those things off first? A SOCK? Why is a sock even near where you have your dishes? I can understand if these dishes were on his desk, and eventually the other things accumulated atop the dish, but the sock just doesn’t make sense.
So, let’s take a closer look at his desk:
SERIOUSLY DUDE. WHO NEEDS THAT MANY GLASSES ON THEIR DESK?!
So here I am, ranting about Chris’ desk for this post, and I reached for my mug of tea to take a self-righteous sip. Then when I went to put it down, I had to push a book and a bottle of nail polish out of the way. Because you see, this is my desk:
Okay. I guess I don’t have that much room to judge.
Seriously, what’s up with the lone flip flop lying next to the bracelet on the floor? The book “Your Happy Baby” is on my printer, under some immigration papers for Maia and a Christmas ornament from my mom. My beautiful new Tassimo — yes, it’s on my desk, fuck putting it in the kitchen, that’s too far to walk for coffee. There’s a bra behind my keyboard. Two pie plates (I made lemon meringue pie yesterday).
Anyhow, yeah, like I said… Chris and I are pretty similar in our housekeeping habits.
COUGH.
Update!
That’s all I have to say about THAT!
DRF: Chris’ List of 5
Published September 4, 2009 | 
I told Chris he had to give me his List of 5 “because other husbands are doing it“. Funny enough, this worked… and so here it is!
1) Felicia Day
2) Salma Hayek
3) Scarlett Johannson
4) Jessica Biel
There’s no #5. To be honest, it was hard enough for him to acknowledge a woman other than Felicia Day!
GTT: List of 5
Published September 3, 2009 | 
Exciting news! Girl Talk Thursday has moved over to its own domain, gotten its own Twitter account, and entered the big time. Not only that, but I get to be one of your hostesses there, which is AWESOME. I’ve loved participating in GTT since the beginning (even though I’ve missed a few weeks for one reason or another), and to be a part of the awesome, sexy, smart, geekalicious team running the new site is totally amazing. Drop by, participate, and leave a permalink to your List of Five post on the Mr. Linky!
Enough about that though — this week’s topic is your List of 5. You know, the five people you’d have mad crazy monkey sex with, regardless of your relationship status. Mine are in no particular order, because really? With five this hot? HOW COULD I PRIORITIZE?!
1. Colin Farrell
Hello my dear. I’m willing to forgive you for “Alexander”. I’m willing to forgive you for possibly boinking Britney Spears. Just come over here & let mama sit on your lap for awhile.
2. Nathan Fillion
Any self-respecting geek girl will have this dude on her list. Let’s be real, he’s not the prettiest boy of my five, but you know what he is? FUCKING AWESOME (also, Canadian). Castle. Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog (PS: Felicia Day, if I had a list of 6, you’d be on it). Firefly. Anything he touches turns to gold… and he can touch me anytime.
3. George Stroumboulopoulos (aka “Strombo”)
Strombo’s a Canadian guy who conducts the most interesting interviews that I’ve ever seen on his show “The Hour”. He also hosts “The Strombo Show“, a radio program centered around indie music, and is a passionate supporter of “One Million Acts of Green“. I looooooove his voice and could listen to him talk all day.
4. Georges St. Pierre (aka “GSP”)
1) He has this adorable French-Canadian accent. 2) He’s fking built. 3) He kicks EVERYONE’S ass. 4) He’s the best reason to watch UFC fights. Any questions?
5. Matthew Fox
Oh… my… goodness. Oh yes. You are ALL MINE, dude. You and I? We could totally get stranded on an island together, I wouldn’t argue. I first became aware of Mr. Fox (rawr) on LOST. Some chicks are into Sawyer, some are into Sayid, but I’m all about Jack.
Who’s on your list of 5? (Or, if you posted yours already, who would be your #6?)
Also, I don’t usually pimp things out, but a friend, Rebecca of Playground Confidential, is walking to raise money for breast cancer and could use more sponsors. She’s got a TON of great prizes for her sponsors to win and I really hope that, if you can spare a few dollars for a great cause, you help her out. If not, please spread the word, and let’s help her out!
Girl Talk Thursday
Published August 27, 2009 |
Girl Talk Thursday is a weekly event run by Maria of Mommy Melee. This week, we’re discussing dreams.
I’ve written about dreams twice before. Interestingly, those recurring dreams don’t happen as much anymore. Now that Maia’s here, there’s a whole new set of strange going on in my head.
I had a really fucked up dream the other night. I dreamt that my parents, who have been split up for something like fifteen years, got back together. Now, to be clear, I don’t remember ever wishing my parents would get back together (I think I understood that a divorce isn’t a lightly undertaken process) but if I have, it sure as hell hasn’t been within the last, ohhh, fourteen point nineninenine years. In this dream, though, my mom kept saying to me, “It’s okay Tatiana, just give him another chance.” My dad kept pleading, “Please let me hold my granddaughter,” and I was FREAKING OUT, screaming at him: “You’ll never hold her! Never!” Fucked up.
And although sexy dreams have been absent for several months, I’ve had a few of them lately. I’m kind of ashamed to admit that only one of them has featured Chris; the others have featured celebrities. I’m totally not a celeb fangirl type, but I guess I am in my sleep (hellooooo Colin Farrell, and no I don’t care if anyone thinks you’re dirty, like the Paris Hilton of the male celebrities, I’m totally okay with that).
Now, speaking in a loftier way of dreams — what are my dreams?
Obviously, I dream of health, happiness, long life, and prosperity for my family and everyone else I love.
I dream of having a career that leaves me feeling fulfilled. I dream of going back to school. I love learning. What is that career, though? Sometimes I think I’m meant to be a chef, but other times I’m certain I’m meant to write, and yet others I know I was born to be a teacher.
I dream of growing old with Chris (also of him cancelling his WoW account). I want us to be that little old couple walking, bent over, slowwwwwww as molasses, along a sidewalk under falling leaves in the autumn, holding hands.
I dream of our little Maia growing up strong and beautiful, of holding her baby in my arms.
I want to say that I dream of a world free of discrimination based on gender, race, and sexual preference. It needs to be clear, though, that I speak of mutual, informed, consensual sexual preferences. I’m not cool with the stuff that’s illegal for a reason.
I don’t dream of world peace. I genuinely don’t believe it’s attainable. I WISH it were, but so long as people use religion as a justification for unjustifiable behaviour, man needs natural resources, and psychopathic mental illnesses exist, world peace cannot happen. Sad, but true.
Girl Talk Thursday
Published August 6, 2009 |
Girl Talk Thursday is a weekly event run by Maria of Mommy Melee. This week, we’re discussing our favourite songs. It’s been interesting to watch the Twitter conversation around this topic, because several women seem to be saying that that our favourite songs, or the ones that are most meaningful to us, bring tears to our eyes and strike at our hearts.
I’ve definitely felt that while putting together this list, but I didn’t really get into a lot of the stories behind these songs, if only because some of them are so intensely personal that they’re too personal to type here. Yes. I, who have written about A LOT here, won’t write about certain stories. But there are some of you girls I’d love to share personal stories with over a bottle of wine.
I settled on ten songs — four in video form, six with links to their vid on YouTube.
“Every Now and Then” by Tony Henry. My favourite slow jam song – if you listen to NOTHING else on this list, nothing else today, if you hate music, it doesn’t matter, you must, must, must listen to this song. I am not joking. It is AMAZING. That this man is not an international star is beyond me. This vid is nothing but the name of the song and the artist, so you can even work in another window while listening and not miss anything visually. There is another Tony Henry that’s a recording artist, but he’s like an opera dude or something? Not the same. (Thank you, Mark, for introducing me to this song — one of the MANY MANY MANY amazing artists you’ve brought to my attention.)
“Fast as You” by Dwight Yoakam is my favourite country song. I’m pretty sure this is the favourite country song of everyone in my family with the possible exception of my very Polish grandfather, who loves “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. Also: LOOK AT THAT LEG ACTION! Smooth.
“Reckless Girl” by The Beginerz used to remind me of myself. Still kinda does, a little bit. But it’s just got a great groove to it. “I ain’t much at cookin’ & sewin’, but my man is crazy for me. I spend his money like there’s no tomorrow, I’m a reckless girl, I agree.”
“Angel” by Massive Attack is “our” song. This played at our wedding, but Chris was too cool to dance with his new wife. Ironically, I was introduced to this band — hell, this entire genre of music — by the Professor. This song really gets to me. It’s so powerful, the beat throbs, the singer’s voice is ethereal… shivers. Serious shivers.
“Dirrty” by Cristina Aguilera is my favourite sexy song – . Chris and I first bonded and flirted over how fking hot this video is, all those years ago. I don’t know why, but I love the part around 4:03 where she kicks the water up. It always sticks in my mind.
“Just to Get By” by Talib Kweli is the song I have an unexpected but deep love affair with. Love the chorus on this one — hell, I love all the lyrics. It’s just inspiring. Also, Talib Kweli tweets!
“Breathe Me” by Sia is THE song that makes me cry. Mom, I know you have heard this one before and it made you cry, too (I think at the end of “Six Feet Under”?). Not only is it lyrically and musically beautiful, but it unlocks certain painful memories. For that reason, I rarely listen to it… but when I do, I am always moved.
“Love Shack” by the B-52s is my favourite 80s groove.. Is there anyone that doesn’t love this song? Also, if your answer is yes, please just close my blog now. Don’t bother telling me in the comments. I’ll just pretend you didn’t write it anyway.
“As The Rush Comes (Gabriel & Dresden Remix)” by Motorcycle takes the title of best song you’ve never heard but you should. Vid is just that one image, but this is the kind of song you just listen to and feel.
Last, but certainly not least, the song I consider to be my “theme song”: “Penny On the Train Track” by Ben Kweller.
I’m just a penny on the train track
Waitin’ for my judgement day
Come on baby girl let me see those legs
Before I get flattened away
I wait
Yeah, I wait
For something good, for something great
Stoppin’ in somebody’s old home town
Gotta get that midnight meal
If you can’t get behind your own life
Get behind the driving wheel
And go, just go
Find a place that you don’t know
Ran into a friend just the other night
Got a badge, he’s a local cop
Haven’t seen that boy in over seven years
Since out of high school I dropped
I see, I see
All the things that I should be
Oh baby dance with me!
Even lucky man has a bad day
And pretty girl has a scar
After that train comes and takes me away
Pick up that guitar
And play, just play
Play that rock and roll for me
He’s in the yard just washin’ his car
Thinkin’ ’bout his pretty wife
Makin’ lemonade with the kitchen aid
Makin’ him a perfect life
And it’s grim, so dim
When you wish that you were just like him
I’m just a penny on the train track
Waitin’ for my judgement day
Come on baby girl let me see those legs
Before I get flattened away
I wait, I wait
For something good, for something great
And I try, oh I try
I can’t stop, I don’t know why
Girl Talk Thursday
Published July 30, 2009 |
Girl Talk Thursday is a weekly event run by Maria of Mommy Melee. This week, we’re discussing the ways we unwind.
For years, before Maia, I was constantly “unwound”. I rarely felt uptight, stressed, or tired; I was unhappy with a few aspects of my life, but never felt as if those aspects were overwhelming me. I spent the majority of my time logged into World of Warcraft, socializing with friends.
Now that we have a child, I feel tense all the time. It’s only at the end of each day — and I never know when the day will end, when Maia will go to sleep for the night — that I realize how tight my shoulders and back are. The late hours of the day are when I allow myself to consider our situation, our lifestyle, and how I can improve one while maintaining the other. It’s heavy business that leaves my mind in a fuzz of this is when I can shine, but we’re in a lot of trouble if I can’t.
Taking a hot shower and using one of my five different kinds of soap is my first line of defense against tension. I stretch these minutes out for as long as I feel like it, reclaiming my body and my time, raising my face to the falling water to close my eyes and simply exist, thinking of nothing and nowhere but myself and where I am.
Allowing myself a mug of sugary peppermint tea, or honeyed lemon tea, or even cayenne-spiked hot chocolate, is another way to unwind. I’ll curl up in a corner of the couch, the chihuahuas snuggled at my ankles and a book in my hand, to relax. It usually works.
And, just like every other woman in my family, if I’m extremely angry and stressed, I clean. I don’t know if it’s because cleaning is a mindless process or because cleaning results in things being more orderly, but either way, it soothes my mind.
How do you unwind?
Girl Talk Thursday
Published July 16, 2009 |
Girl Talk Thursday is a weekly event run by Maria of Mommy Melee. This week, we’re discussing our turn ons. So, if you’re my family, and especially if you’re my little brother, you might not want to read this. In fact, if you’re my father-in-law, it’d be super awesome if you’d close the browser and come back tomorrow. I’m just sayin’!
I was not planning on participating, but then I found out I won a $25 gift certificate to EdenFantasys from prior participation in GTT! So I started browsing to see what I could put my money toward, and all the sudden my mind is in the bedroom, thinking about how interesting this or that item would make things, and well… hey, as it happens, that’s kind of a turn-on! Who knew.
Seeing my husband all dressed up is another one. He’s gotten on dress slacks, a button-down shirt, and a tie a few times lately, and if he didn’t have to leave the house I tell you what, I’d probably jump his bones.
Oh, and I’ve been reminded: man smell. Yes, even stinky man smell. I love manliness. Chest hair, muscles, sweat… don’t give me some clean-shaven, skinny little preppy dude, I’m NOT interested!
Alcoholic beverages. I am a very affectionate drunk.
Flirting… with dudes or chicks. I’m not gonna lie!
Edit: Pitting cherries with my bare hands. Something about the dark red juice staining my skin and pulling the flesh apart with my fingers is kinda sexy.
What about you?
Girl Talk Thursday
Published July 9, 2009 |
Girl Talk Thursday is Mommy Melee‘s weekly event, and I really love participating, so here it comes: my thoughts on the topic of “Porn”.
I am mostly ambivalent when it comes to pornography. I’ll watch it — or not. It’s not a part of our sex life, that’s for certain. If I’m going to look at porn online, I’ll look for amateur stuff. I’m just not interested in bouffant blondes with plastic puppies (there’s your euphemism for “boobs” that starts with a p, dear Googler).
That said, though, there is one movie of this genre that must be watched and appreciated: PIRATES. Oh my gosh. This movie has some of the most hilarious lines ever uttered in a porno. I’m completely disappointed that I can’t find a list of quotes from it, but there’s great stuff like dirty pirate men cheering “GOD SAVE THE WENCHES” during an exhibitionist lesbian scene and an angry man snapping something about a burning vagina while he is trapped in a burning building. Sure, it has your typical “hot” lady stars and not necessarily attractive but certainly well-endowed men in it, but it also has an actual (sorta) storyline, GREAT costumes, and CGI special effects for some battle scenes. There’s actually an R-rated version of the movie where all the sex scenes are cut out.
Um. So yeah, we’ve watched that once or twice. It’d be a great flick to throw in if you were totally trashed (and kidless) with a few friends that you’re close to, because it’s just so damned funny.
And, I’m not one of those militant ladies that stomps around growling about how pornography degrades women. Do you know how much money these women make? The most famous ones make millions. And seriously? You’re never more powerful than when you have a man’s schlong in your mouth — teeth, my friends, teeth.
Girl Talk Thursday 14
Published June 25, 2009 |
Girl Talk Thursday is Mommy Melee‘s weekly event, and I really love participating, so here it comes: my thoughts on the topic of “What talent do you wish you had?”
This is easy: dancing. I wish I could dance. I wish I had that innate rhythm, control, and awareness of my body. I would love to shake my booty and have people encourage me not because my booty is hawt (which it is), but because I make them feel like I’m telling a story, or at least entertaining, with my movement.
I remember living in Navy Housing as a kid. There was a dance going on at the local rec center, and for admission, you had to bring a non-perishable food item to be donated to charity. I think I brought a can of sauerkraut — which was SO EMBARASSING BTW — and I seem to remember a can of beets too, but that might just be my faulty memory.
Anyhow, point being, I felt really nervous walking into this dance. I was young, maybe 7 or 8. I didn’t go with friends, I went by myself, but I was so excited to be going to this Big Kid dance. I found a spot on the dancefloor where I wouldn’t bump into anybody and started getting my groove on.
Any by “getting my groove on” I mean I started doing the MC Hammer dance.
Yes, me. Little blonde-haired, blue-eyed, very white, very Polish me. In the middle of a big, empty space on the dancefloor at the Big Kid dance. I pumped my arms. I stomped my feet. I frowned in concentration and thought, YES! I’ve got it! How cool am I?!
Then… I looked up.
Right at a group of Big Girls giggling behind their hands and staring at me.
I’m still mortified at the thought.
I remember running away, past the concession stand where they sold pizza and soda. I must’ve called my mom. I just wanted to leave and never see those Big Girls again.
And you know what? I’ve never done the MC Hammer dance again.
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Don’t forget about my Babies of 2009 Carnival coming up on July 1st! Please help me spread the word.
Girl Talk Thursday 12
Published June 11, 2009 |
Girl Talk Thursday is Mommy Melee‘s weekly event, and I really love participating, so here it comes: my thoughts on the topic of “Self-Esteem and Your Sexuality.”