Comments on: Being a twenty-something

By: Melodie

Melodie — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 16:15:53 +0000

People talk about parenting needing a manual? I think being a spouse with children needs a manual. Never have I felt so inept at being a wife! I struggle with parenting issues but I am completely wiped by the ones in my marriage. Help = I know what you mean.

By: cristin

cristin — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 04:26:22 +0000

I don’t like any labels… wife freaks me out, mother sounds too prudish, blogger too trendy, and writer just a lie.

maybe I have no idea who I am.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:20:28 +0000

Yeah, if I use the term “blogger” I get this confused look. So I just use my regular job: Society Editor at a small paper. Sometimes I still get a confused look. Or one of “pity.” So then I say: “But I write a column for the paper too and stories when they’re needed.”

I know what you mean about the marriage stuff. I seem to have a lot more kindness toward my son than my husband. Then there are the times where I feel drained from giving all my attention to my son and my husband misses out. That pretty much sucks.

By: Amber

Amber — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 17:26:32 +0000

I don’t say I’m a blogger, either. Mostly I say I’m an ‘aspiring writer’. Because, like you, I would rather be a writer who blogs. Although I’m a little ashamed to admit that, it’s the truth.

And I hear you on the 20-something angst. Only I’m a 30-something. Sadly, for me, it hasn’t gotten better. But I still have small kids and I was just laid off, so I’m trying to cut myself some slack.

By: C

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:08:21 +0000

Ohhhh! What a great post! Are we living parallel lives? It seems so!

By: Allie

Allie — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 15:17:48 +0000

Wow. I can relate so easily to this , so easily!

By: Cara

Cara — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 03:09:44 +0000

Here’s the thing, and they don’t tell you this in the fairy tales: marriage is work. An enormous amount of effort must go into preserving it. Always. There will be bad days and good days. Hell, I suspect over the lifetime of a 50 or 60 year marriage there will be bad weeks or months maybe even years, but you work through them. Talk to Chris. Tell him how you feel. Tell him what you expect of him. Ask him what he expects of you. Sometimes just getting on the same page is half the battle. And get out on your own. Take a class at community college. Join a book club. Something that is all yours. That gets you away from the house and the baby, if only for a couple of hours a month. It will help. Trust me.

By: Jinxy

Jinxy — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 23:02:11 +0000

As Gala said communication is key and I’m going to add really hard. Some days I really need to talk to Waldo but I know he’s had a long/hard day so sometimes I feel its easier to keep it to myself, but that isn’t the best option for anyone.

By: Maria

Maria — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 18:27:01 +0000

I feel you on SO much of this.

By: Gala

Gala — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 14:06:40 +0000

People say marriage is a 50/50 thing. That’s crap. Marriage is a 60/40 thing..or a 70/30 thing…even a 99/1 thing. When you are carrying the marriage you know it. When the other person is carrying the marriage, you are probably oblivious to it.
Babies change the family dynamic like nothing else, but so does getting new jobs, making new friends, moving, etc. Somehow the light has to go “on” in each of you, when things aren’t going great…and time needs to be spent working on finding a common ground. Raising a baby is hard, but I think having a good marriage is even harder. One word: Communication.