Dear Maia,
Beautiful.
That is the word that comes to mind whenever I think of you. And while it is so often a comment on your physical state — your shining, dark eyes, your long, narrow limbs, your perfect round belly — you embody beauty in every way.
Spiritually, you are radiant. The unadulterated joy in you find in everything humbles us. You are just as amazed by the little plastic tab from a bread bag as you are by a balloon. And let me tell you, that’s a lot of amazement; today at the dollar store, we found some mylar balloons and you started squealing, reaching for them, and babbling, nearly tumbling from your Daddy’s arms. When he gave them to you and set you down, you caressed the mylar and patted it, smiling in your wide-mouthed way, your deep dimple visible only when you peeked around the side of the balloon to make certain we still watched you. Of course we did. How could we take our eyes from you?
It’s so hard for me to write this, Maia, because I feel like words are insufficient. I wish I could distill every bit of delight you bring to our lives and put it into this letter, but it’s like trying to catch a waterfall in a thimble — no matter how hard I try, I won’t succeed. But I’ll try.
After I zipped up your pajamas tonight, I leaned down and kissed you full on the lips, then smooched your cheeks and neck and chin. You laughed from deep in your belly in a blissfully helpless way, twisting to and fro as if trying to escape, but your little hands grabbed mine and held on tight. “You’re going to have a wonderful birthday,” I told you over and over again between kisses, “we love you so much.”
I read your bedtime book, and before I even closed it you were leaning back, mouth open, head turned towards me, wanting to nurse to sleep as you always do. And usually when you nurse to sleep, I read, but tonight I watched you instead. I watched the perfect shape of your pink lips, the way the tip of your nose touches my skin, and as your eyes fluttered shut, I felt tears fill my own. My vision blurred. I want it to be 1:07am, February 13th, 2010, because I want to know that you have been here every second of a year, that there will never again be a moment in time untouched by you.
Maia, beauty can be found in happiness and sorrow, joy and bitterness, hope and despair. You will explore all of these things in your life, and I know that you have the grace of spirit to learn from them — and your father and I will be at your back, waiting to support you when you need us.
We love you so much, papaya. Thank you for showing us what it truly means to be beautiful.
Love,
Mama & Dada
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Love this post. It’s so amazing. I can’t believe she’s been here, in your life, in my life, for a year already. It seems so much shorter. I can’t wait to see you all, and give Maia plenty of Auntie kisses (convey the msg). I hope you all have a great day today, celebrating the one-year anniversary of her birth! Love you!
I am crying, damn you, crying.
Happy birthday, Maia. Happy first anniversary of mommyhood, Tatiana.
….and now TMD is crying….
Wishing Maia the bestest 1st birthday! She will have a great day simply because she will be surrounded by love, as she is daily by you and Chris. I want to congratulate you and the wonderful job the two of you are doing in raising my one and only (so far!) grandchild. The pride you feel everytime she does something amazing never stops–I feel that same pride in you 27 years later…
Love all of you, miss you tons, but so joyful that my baby girl is so happy.
beautiful. i know just how you feel. OVERWHELMING love. Happy Birthday to your little treasure.
Just lovely… what a sweet little Miss you have there!! Loving these pics very much – Happ First Birthday, Maia!!
Tears streaming down my face now. I have watched you chronicle her first year, taking joy in her milestones with you. As a mom with older kids now, you remind me to take delight in every part of being a mother. Happy Birthday Maia. And Happy first Anniversary of motherhood, Tatiana.
You are so blessed to have Maia & she is so blessed to have you for a mother. Congrats on a year well spent.
Happy birthday Maia! Eat some yummy cake!
Congrats to you, Mama! One year is awesome and special. Thanks for letting us share this moment with you.
This is perfect. She is perfect.
I thought about you a bunch this weekend. She is so perfect, that little darling girl of yours. She has more than just her Mama and Daddy wrapped around her sweet little finger too.
Happy Birthday little Maia! I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for you, or rather, what you have in store for the world.
<3
I am choking back tears . That was beautiful – in more ways than you know. 12 whole months!! Thank you for letting us in.
Congratulations to you and Maia.
Love your baby bliss. Enjoy it!