Girl Talk Thursday is Mommy Melee‘s weekly event, and I really love participating, so here it comes: my thoughts on the topic of “What talent do you wish you had?”

This is easy: dancing.  I wish I could dance.  I wish I had that innate rhythm, control, and awareness of my body.  I would love to shake my booty and have people encourage me not because my booty is hawt (which it is), but because I make them feel like I’m telling a story, or at least entertaining, with my movement.

I remember living in Navy Housing as a kid.  There was a dance going on at the local rec center, and for admission, you had to bring a non-perishable food item to be donated to charity.  I think I brought a can of sauerkraut — which was SO EMBARASSING BTW — and I seem to remember a can of beets too, but that might just be my faulty memory.

Anyhow, point being, I felt really nervous walking into this dance.  I was young, maybe 7 or 8.  I didn’t go with friends, I went by myself, but I was so excited to be going to this Big Kid dance.  I found a spot on the dancefloor where I wouldn’t bump into anybody and started getting my groove on.

Any by “getting my groove on” I mean I started doing the MC Hammer dance.

Yes, me.  Little blonde-haired, blue-eyed, very white, very Polish me.  In the middle of a big, empty space on the dancefloor at the Big Kid dance.  I pumped my arms.  I stomped my feet.  I frowned in concentration and thought, YES! I’ve got it! How cool am I?!

Then… I looked up.

Right at a group of Big Girls giggling behind their hands and staring at me.

I’m still mortified at the thought.

I remember running away, past the concession stand where they sold pizza and soda.  I must’ve called my mom.  I just  wanted to leave and never see those Big Girls again.

And you know what?  I’ve never done the MC Hammer dance again.
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