hopes

Girl Talk Thursday is a weekly event run by Maria of Mommy Melee. This week, we’re discussing dreams.

I’ve written about dreams twice before.  Interestingly, those recurring dreams don’t happen as much anymore.  Now that Maia’s here, there’s a whole new set of strange going on in my head.

I had a really fucked up dream the other night.  I dreamt that my parents, who have been split up for something like fifteen years, got back together.  Now, to be clear, I don’t remember ever wishing my parents would get back together (I think I understood that a divorce isn’t a lightly undertaken process) but if I have, it sure as hell hasn’t been within the last, ohhh, fourteen point nineninenine years.  In this dream, though, my mom kept saying to me, “It’s okay Tatiana, just give him another chance.”  My dad kept pleading, “Please let me hold my granddaughter,” and I was FREAKING OUT, screaming at him: “You’ll never hold her!  Never!” Fucked up.

And although sexy dreams have been absent for several months, I’ve had a few of them lately.  I’m kind of ashamed to admit that only one of them has featured Chris; the others have featured celebrities.  I’m totally not a celeb fangirl type, but I guess I am in my sleep (hellooooo Colin Farrell, and no I don’t care if anyone thinks you’re dirty, like the Paris Hilton of the male celebrities, I’m totally okay with that).

Now, speaking in a loftier way of dreams — what are my dreams?

Obviously, I dream of health, happiness, long life, and prosperity for my family and everyone else I love.

I dream of having a career that leaves me feeling fulfilled.  I dream of going back to school.  I love learning.  What is that career, though?  Sometimes I think I’m meant to be a chef, but other times I’m certain I’m meant to write, and yet others I know I was born to be a teacher.

I dream of growing old with Chris (also of him cancelling his WoW account).  I want us to be that little old couple walking, bent over, slowwwwwww as molasses, along a sidewalk under falling leaves in the autumn, holding hands.

I dream of our little Maia growing up strong and beautiful, of holding her baby in my arms.

I want to say that I dream of a world free of discrimination based on gender, race, and sexual preference.  It needs to be clear, though, that I speak of mutual, informed, consensual sexual preferences.  I’m not cool with the stuff that’s illegal for a reason.

I don’t dream of world peace.  I genuinely don’t believe it’s attainable.  I WISH it were, but so long as people use religion as a justification for unjustifiable behaviour, man needs natural resources, and psychopathic mental illnesses exist, world peace cannot happen.  Sad, but true.

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