- We are both still awake, and there are birds chirping outside and What. The. Fuck.
- Way, way too many skinny, pale, almost-vaguely-ethnic, blonde chicks up in my fashion editorials right now. Diversity, PLEASE.
Month Nine
Published November 13, 2009 | 
Dear Maia,
Today you turn nine months old. Today is also a Friday the 13th, just like you were born on, and I have to admit that this makes me smile. Oh sure, I’ve heard a few times that it’s “too bad” you didn’t hold off your arrival for a day so you could be a Valentine’s Day baby and share a birthday with your Grandma, but I’m pretty sure that being born on a Friday the 13th is going to give you way more street cred when you hit your goth phase. Never forget that, baby girl, you totally owe me.
Like I do every time I sit down to write you this letter, I check out the pictures I’ve taken of you over the past month so I can review in my mind what we’ve done together and how much you’ve grown. Unlike most months, however, I am shocked at how much your presence has changed and matured; between October 13th and November 13th, you seem to have become a completely different baby. In fact, sometimes I stop thinking of you as my baby, and I think of you as my kid and yes, those are distinctly separate entities. A baby is reliant on other people for everything. A kid has some autonomy, and if there’s one thing you like demonstrating to us, it’s your need to have some autonomy.
See, here’s a picture I took of you on October 14th. And whatever, don’t be hatin’ on your hair, this picture has SERIOUS high school yearbook potential. Don’t you look so cute? So sweet? so YOUNG?
In comparison, here you are at the park the other day:
See what I mean? You’re totally bigger now. And I still can’t do your hair properly, but you’ll notice that you’ve now graduated to adult sized clips.
This month has been a great one for all of us. We are in a rhythm now, the three of us, working in tandem with one another. You have a certain time when you wake up (around 7:22) except for once or twice a week when you decide that waking up at 6:30 would be way, way cooler. And then Mama or Daddy, whichever one of us is getting up with you that day, walk around like zombies while you bounce around the house and squeal. You go to bed around 7:30pm, after we read your favourite book (which is borrowed from the library… we really must buy you a copy instead). You wake up two or three times a night still, but that’s alright, because you just want to eat. Sometimes you want to eat and then snuggle and while that’s great in theory, when your very tired Mama wants to sleep, it kinda stinks. Because, you see, while I am totally willing to put you in bed with us so we can snuggle and sleep together, you seem to think the bed is a place to romp around regardless of the hour, and then when I put you in your crib you act like this is THE GREATEST INDIGNITY babykind has ever known. Tough luck, honeybuns. Trust me, all three of us need our sleep.
You can totally walk, but for some reason you seem to be convinced that walking unsupported is not worth your time and that you would much rather hold onto the table, or me, and walk. However, sometimes you will trot back and forth between Daddy and I four or five times in a row, giggling and smiling. Or I’ll catch you sitting on the floor before pulling your legs into a squatting position, then you will stand straight up without supporting yourself on anything and take a few steps over to wherever you want to be. I have to admit, though, that if I could get carried everywhere, I might be tempted to pretend I could not walk.
You like to do this thing we call “drama hand”. You hold one arm out in front of you, palm upwards, your fingers outstretched, then clench and release your hand repeatedly. Usually, you have a very earnest look on your face. We can just imagine you being on stage, delivering some dramatic line or another in a Shakespeare play, and posing like this. It’s completely hilarious and I have yet to capture it on film, because every time you hear my camera turn on you immediately have to turn and start posing. Or try to grab it.
Hey mom, whatcha got?!
Your grandma came up from Florida this month and you pretty much love her. You two got along like peas in a pod, except for, apparently, when she was babysitting, and you wanted to walk around. So you grabbed her hands and started walking, only she didn’t come along, at which point you started screaming and shrieking your little head off (a sound Daddy and I are very familiar with). When recounting this to me the next day, she laughed and laughed, saying how much you reminded her of Daddy when he was a baby. I said you remind me of Daddy as an adult. She agreed.
Actually, you remind everyone of people that aren’t me. You look like Daddy. Your uncle Sean. Your grandma. Your great-uncle. Your auntie Katie. You do not look like me.
Whatever, though, we’re totally gorgeous together. Maia, I’ve never been a terribly confident person, but when it comes to parenting you, I know we’re doing it right. You are so beautiful, intelligent, and altogether vibrant that Daddy and I often look at one another over your head and smile, unable to articulate how much we love you and how happy you make us. Life right now is amazing and better than I ever could have imagined it being. Who knew that being a mom is wicked awesome?
We love you, baby girl. Always and forever.
Love,
Mama & Daddy
Month Seven
Published September 13, 2009 | Dear Maia,
Well, the good news is this: you’re not yet walking on your own. The bad news is this: if I analyze your movements long enough, I become convinced that you actually are.
That video is not long enough to show what you did afterward — one of your favourite new activities, banging on things. You are never happier than when you have a wooden or hard plastic toy in hand and are smashing it against something else solid, raising a racket. Oh, wait, I lie: you’re even happier if you are also giving off your patented Maia Was A Velociraptor In A Former Life screech. At these times, your Daddy and I just look at each other and shrug, because really? You are just so damned happy. Interrupting would result only in your anger, and you are REALLY good, like almost admirably amazing, at throwing hissy fits that last approximately, oh… forever.
This month, we moved your crib into the bedroom (because your Daddy wanted the pack & play in the living room… I don’t know, ask him why), which means you are at eye-level with me. For a few mornings, we had your favourite wooden toy in the crib so you could amuse yourself with it in the morning, but after you woke me up banging it against the side of the crib, that toy found a new home in the living room. On the floor. Where I now step on it at least once a day. Oh, the joys!
In your crib, you have a little stuffed bear. You LOVE to snuggle with it! Every time you wake up to nurse and I pull you into bed, you are holding the bear in your right hand (because you self-soothe on your left “fingees”), but if I nurse you on the left so your right arm is trapped, you’ll switch the bear to your free hand. Then you start flailing him all over the place, rubbing him across your face and mine, over my chest, against your side. Sometimes you’ll delatch and push one of the bear’s paws into your mouth for a moment before returning to me. It always makes me smile.
What makes me smile less, though, is that recently you seem to be having a lot of trouble returning to sleep once you’re up. I’m not sure if this is teething, or just physical & mental development. You’ll fall asleep in my arms, and wake up when I put you in the crib, at which point you roll over, push yourself into a sitting position, and suddenly stand up against the side, whining and moaning with your head hanging down sleepily. I can tell you’re just as frustrated as I am, so that does make me have a little bit of sympathy, but at the same time… it’s so frustrating! Last night we spent over an hour playing this game with one another.
But during the days, oh my baby girl, we have so much fun. Once you’re in bed, I find myself wishing you were awake to play with, and before I fall asleep every night I think about all the fun things we’ll do tomorrow. This month, we discovered something that makes you INCREDIBLY happy:
Ohh yes. Swinging makes you a happy, giggling, smiling, ecstatic little ball of love. This picture is my desktop and let me tell you, Maia, you love it as much as I do. If you spot it, even from across the room, you make this little delighted noise, so I bring you closer… and you start talking to the picture. SO CUTE. If I point at my screen and exclaim, “That’s Maia!” you laugh and laugh.
Another thing that makes you laugh is when we fake bite you. This is especially effective when combined with “scaring” or surprising you; I look away from you as though I’m not paying attention, then suddenly growl and snap at you, and you LAUGH! Daddy says you’re going to like horror movies. I tell you right now, Maia, I do NOT like them, not at all, so if you want to watch them, it’s going to have to be with some not-Mama person (I suddenly feel as if I have presented you with the perfect excuse to get out of the house in the future).
Earlier this month,we realized you had never met another baby. And, yes, we felt horrible about this. Fortunately, your friend Lily came over and you two hung out while the parents chatted. We all went down to the waterfront and enjoyed the Ribfest, which was REALLY tasty. You and Lily? Yeah, you ate carrots. Maybe next year you’ll get some yummy ribs!
We visited family and you went in a swimming pool for the first time. It was kind of a cool day, so you didn’t stay in for too long, but you seemed to enjoy it well enough. I have the feeling that soon enough, you’ll be begging to spend summers with these relatives because Mommy, they have a pool, pleeeeease I wanna go swimming! and to be honest, I REALLY enjoy swimming and am totally pissed off that I only got to go once, so I’ll probably cave in. I won’t even complain (much) about my poor post-pregnancy, untoned, frighteningly floppy body.
Since you move around so much these days and you love water so much (channeling your Aunt Katie), you take big girl baths now.
See that face? You’ve developed a habit of puckering your lips, wrinkling your nose, and huffing like a bull, and this is a mild version of it. Usually you’re so into it that your puckered lips are white, your brow furrowed, and your eyes dark little slits. It’s truly hilarious, and I’ve tried to video tape it, but so far I’m not having any luck with that. I’m not too worried, though, since it seems like a habit you’re not keen to give up anytime soon.
In case it hasn’t come through in this letter, you are currently amazing. You amuse us, inspire us, and sometimes make us pull out our hair (err… yes, I know your Daddy doesn’t have hair, don’t correct me!), but there isn’t a single day — a single hour — that goes by without us thinking about how stunningly beautiful you are, inside and out. You enrich our lives. We have so much fun with you around, and watching you grow up is amazing. I want to keep you at this age, but at the same time, I can’t wait to see how you change and develop every single day.
We love you, you little gangsta.
Love,
Mama & Daddy
Month One
Published March 13, 2009 | Dear Maia,
Today you turn one month old, and I can’t believe you’ve only been here four weeks. It feels like you’ve always been a part of our life, as if we’ve known you forever; I really don’t remember what things were like when we didn’t have you here. And yet I still feel as if the past month has flown by, as if I just held you in my arms for the first time yesterday.
You’ve grown so much in the past month. Physically, you’re 10 lb and 13 oz already, which means you’ve put on a little more than 2 lbs since birth. You can hold your head up at a 45 degree angle when we give you tummy time, and you’ve even supported your head by itself when we hold you sitting up on our laps. You love to stare at the television anytime you can and will even swivel your head to watch it — so I’ve taken to turning off the television if you’re going to be facing it, and I’ll just read or look at you instead. You are so easy to watch; time passes in a daze when I sit and look at you.
Mentally, you are more aware of your surroundings. You are so interested in everything — except, it seems, the chihuahuas. They walk up to you and sniff you, and you look at everything other than them. This is okay, I figure, since soon enough you’ll learn how to grab at them (particularly their soft ears and long tails), and then I’ll have to teach you how to treat animals with love and kindness.
You have a very easy-going personality so far. You love to be held, but sometimes we can put you in your bouncy chair or swing and you’ll be happy just resting there. Funny enough, the harder we push the swing, the happier you are in it; I think this means that you will love to ride roller coasters with me while your daddy waits for us. You love car rides as well, even though you hate when we put you into your carseat when you’re awake… then we swing the carseat back and forth, and you calm right down.
Yesterday afternoon, you and I were laying on the couch to take a nap, but I wasn’t quite asleep. I was watching you. As usual, your face flickered with all of your beautiful expressions — the dimpled smile, the angry old man frown, the gassy furrowed brow, the angelic pursed and slightly parted lips that is probably your kissy face (and you are never allowed to make at a boy). And then you giggled. We had never heard that sound from you before, and when I looked up at your daddy he had a huge smile on his face to match my own. Then you giggled again! Daddy and I started to laugh with one another. I can’t wait until you start giggling regularly. The whole household will be filled with such joy.
Everyone in the family adores you, and you seem to enjoy visiting places. Sometimes you are hungry and it seems like you spend the entire visit feeding, but sometimes you are wide awake, being passed between people, and you seem happy to look at these new faces or even fall asleep against these new chests. I have to admit that after awhile I really want you back in my arms and I miss you, even when you are just a few feet away being held by someone else. Still, with you around, daddy and I are very excited about family get-togethers now.
You are an amazing little girl, and we are so delighted to have you in our life. I’ve never seen your daddy smile so much, and I’ve never been more in love with him. I didn’t know that bringing a baby into our world would make everything seem so much brighter. We love you desperately, and watching you grow up is going to be a blessing.
Happy one month birthday, Maia.
Love,
Mama.