Girl Talk Thursday is Mommy Melee’s weekly event, and I really love participating, so here it comes: my thoughts on the topic of “Porn”.

I am mostly ambivalent when it comes to pornography.  I’ll watch it — or not.  It’s not a part of our sex life, that’s for certain. If I’m going to look at porn online, I’ll look for amateur stuff.  I’m just not interested in bouffant blondes with plastic puppies (there’s your euphemism for “boobs” that starts with a p, dear Googler).

That said, though, there is one movie of this genre that must be watched and appreciated: PIRATES.  Oh my gosh.  This movie has some of the most hilarious lines ever uttered in a porno.  I’m completely disappointed that I can’t find a list of quotes from it, but there’s great stuff like dirty pirate men cheering “GOD SAVE THE WENCHES” during an exhibitionist lesbian scene and an angry man snapping something about a burning vagina while he is trapped in a burning building.  Sure, it has your typical “hot” lady stars and not necessarily attractive but certainly well-endowed men in it, but it also has an actual (sorta) storyline, GREAT costumes, and CGI special effects for some battle scenes.  There’s actually an R-rated version of the movie where all the sex scenes are cut out.

Um.  So yeah, we’ve watched that once or twice.  It’d be a great flick to throw in if you were totally trashed (and kidless) with a few friends that you’re close to, because it’s just so damned funny.

And, I’m not one of those militant ladies that stomps around growling about how pornography degrades women.  Do you know how much money these women make? The most famous ones make millions.  And seriously? You’re never more powerful than when you have a man’s schlong in your mouth — teeth, my friends, teeth.

But I’m posting this in case anyone else wants to participate in this week’s theme!