39 Weeks, Days 3 & 4
Published February 12, 2009 | 
After yesterday’s midwife appointment, I spent the entire evening cramping up. Like menstrual cramps, combined with OMFG THERE IS A HEAD IN MY COOCHIE, combined with feeling like I weighed a trillion pounds and my poor hips simply could not deal with it. And I had some serious spotting going on as well — not enough to call the midwife and ask what’s up (if it doesn’t soak a pantyliner over the course of three hours, it’s clearly worse in my head than in reality), but enough to annoy me. Since Maia was/is moving regularly, that also took some of the stress off me.
I was trying to force myself to keep drinking water because I need to stay hydrated, but the fact is, everytime I went to the washroom and had to put any pressure on myself to pee, my whole lower abdomen would clench up and tighten. So I didn’t WANT to drink, because I didn’t want to go pee. But I managed to down a full glass of water an hour anyhow.
I honestly can’t describe how uncomfortable I was last night. Maybe it was no more uncomfortable than a normal period without taking any pain meds, but I don’t remember that. In any case, I expect what I felt is a mild version of what I’ll be feeling. I was ravenously hungry and polished off my dinner no problem (quarter chicken, roll, big baked potato) … then spent all night wishing I’d puke it back up because I felt nauseous.
Well, as it turns out, this morning was worse. After spending 11:30-5:30am in bed, tossing and turning and waking up every hour with cramps/contractions, I finally got up and came to post here about how I was feeling. 15 minutes later, MJ woke up, so we sat down and watched TV together.
Between 5:30 and 8:30, I was getting about 4 contractions an hour. It was horrible. At one point I went into the bedroom, woke Chris up, and made him give me a hug. I didn’t want to breathe or groan my way through the pain because I didn’t want MJ to stick around thinking I was in labour — maybe that’s a stupid thing to say, since she’ll be here for the latter part of the labour & the birth anyhow, but I really want time with just Chris and I. I want to cope with the pain as it grows with just my husband and not think about anyone else. Does that sound stupid? To want my husband to be freaking out about the pain I’m in, not his mom talking me through it? I think it does, but oh well, I don’t have to be rational.
Finally at 8:30 I crashed on the couch. Chris came out and woke me up at 9. I went to bed and napped for two hours, and only woke up twice during it. I’m assuming this means I’m not having those contractions anymore since I’m pretty sure they would have woken me up, but I’ve still got some spotting going on and I still feel like there is so much pressure in my lower abdomen.
Cervix says HERE’S WHAT UP
Published February 11, 2009 | Just a quick update — I have company, can’t type tons.
Just had my midwife visit. Since Monday, my cervix has moved forward, and I’m between 3-4 cm dilated. Stretch & sweep was easy peasy.
I’m anticipating a Valentine’s Day baby now…
What up, cervix?
Published February 11, 2009 | Went to bed at 12:30am. Got out at 1:10, because I can’t fall asleep. There’s no good reason for this really — sure, the baby’s moving, but nothing more than usual — and I’m kind of annoyed. I’m trying to stock up on sleep! (This is the part where someone tells me insomnia is a sign of impending labour, right?)
Ah well. I slept horribly last night anyhow. I woke up every hour and had to roll over because whichever hip I had my weight on would be incredibly sore. Maybe it’s because Maia’s head is lower, or maybe it’s the new pillow I’m using to sandwich between my legs… or maybe it’s just being 39+ weeks pregnant!
I really want to have more symptoms that the pregnancy may be coming to an end soon. I want aches and cramps and contractions and goop. I feel so damned normal that it’s frustrating.
The fact that I’ll be done with being pregnant soon is somewhat intimidating, though. I’ve enjoyed it so much (despite the less pleasant parts!) and it’s been such a boon to my relationships — a marriage that I already knew was strong has gotten stronger, a friendship that I was letting weaken is now blossoming, family ties that I had taken for granted form my main support system, and, of course, I’ve met a bunch of amazing bloggers whose advice, thoughts, and experiences have really enriched my days. I’ll miss my big round belly. I know I’ll be ‘replacing’ it with someone wonderful, though, and I probably won’t even think about how cute my belly was when I have OMG BABY CUTENESS to cradle instead!
Oh, something important: in the past few days, a lot of visitors have come to my blog via searches for things like “how to check your cervix for dilation”. People, don’t do this to yourself. You are NOT medical professionals; it’s a horrible idea to be fucking around with your child’s passageway into this world. Your body will let you know when your cervix is ready, and if it’s not, then it’s non-urgent enough to wait for your medical caretaker to let you know how close to ready it is. Your dirty hands, regardless of how sterile you might think they or some gloves are, don’t need to be touching your cervix and definitely don’t need to be penetrating it to interfere with your uterus and the amniotic sac. Don’t be stupid.
That said… I wonder how my cervix is doing. When I wake up from whenever I go to sleep, I’m supposed to page Georgia and arrange for her to come over today. My house smells like dog piss and it’s driving me nuts. They must have gone in the house somewhere this afternoon, but I don’t know where so I can’t clean it up properly. I hate this.
Also, tomorrow my MIL should be showing up again and I think we’ll be assembling the bassinet and Ikea shelfing unit, as well as putting down that (impossibly ugly but maybe cute?) rug in the nursery, so perhaps I will have new pictures to share!
No stretchin’, no sweepin’
Published February 9, 2009 | At this afternoon’s appointment, my midwife determined that Maia’s head had dropped a bit more — she’s now at +1, 1 cm above my pelvic spines, as opposed to last week’s +2, so this is good — but, with that and the fact that she’s switched which side her back is on and repositioned means that my cervix is now too far back to be examined properly. Sigh. Georgia was really disappointed that her fingers were “just too short” to check me out, but she’s going to come and do a home visit during the week to re-evaluate my status.
Something really touching that happened was Georgia saying “I kept waiting for you to page me all week! Every time I looked down at my pager I expected to see your name pop up.” It’s this woman’s job to help pregnant women, and she’s brought many babies into the world in the years… yet she is still excited for Chris and I. I wager she’s excited for all of her patients. It is a really cool feeling to know that your medical partner is happy and eager to help.
Spicy food has done nothing to give me stomach cramps (I can’t believe I’m trying to give myself indigestion)… I guess I’m too damned strong for it. Georgia suggested that we try fresh pineapple as well, so we picked up one of those on the way home (peeled and cored already… I’ve never cut a pineapple myself and I don’t plan to dull my knives on one while pregnant!) She said a lot of women try castor oil — we’ve heard some horror stories about it — but that it’s “brutal” and she doesn’t suggest it. I mean hell, I’m not really desperate, so I don’t mind going easy on any rumoured labour starters. Sunday’s my due date. Again, she said it’ll probably be this weekend, but now I feel like “this weekend” is a carrot and I’m a horse!
But as we left the office, she grinned at me and said: “Cherish the time you two have now… and try to get extra rest… you need to be well-rested for your upcoming labour!”
Week 39
Published February 8, 2009 | Last night I got all pissy & moody and declined going out on a date with my husband. I’m sure this’ll become a decision I regret, but really nothing outside of the house sounded fun, so we ended up plopped on the couch flipping aimlessly through one stupid television program or another.
My mother-in-law, MJ, will be over in a few hours with one of Chris’ cousins. I’m not sure if we’re all going out shopping (yay) or just hanging around (boo), but I tell you what… I didn’t realize how messy my supposedly-clean-enough-for-a-baby house is until I thought about my mother in law seeing it. So I’ve been cleaning everywhere like a madwoman.
Tonight, we’re meeting up with family for dinner, so it’s not like I missed out on much on the eating out front by just spending a quiet night at home with Chris anyhow. I’m looking forward to it, and if I go into labour before then… well… I GUESS THAT’S JUST MAIA THROWING AN EARLY WRENCH IN THE WORKS!
But hopefully I’ll go into labour after.
I’m also wondering how realistic it is just to order desserts for dinner, because this place’s dessert menu looks awesome.
Anyhow, I had lots of cramping but nothing that would even qualify as painful last night, like usual. Maia’s moving around lots, like usual. I woke up with menstrual-esque cramps (and a headache), like usual. No more pink-tinged goop, like usual. The only new thing today is that my mouth tastes metallic, which blows.
Mostly Random Blah-Blah’ing
Published February 7, 2009 | No one warned me how much this part of the pregnancy sucks. Waiting on Baby is not enjoyable! I just want her here, or at least to know that I’m in the process of bringing her here. Right now I know that in a vague way, as in she’ll be here sometime this month, but I want to know that she’s … imminent. I want to be in labour (and when I am? I will laugh at myself for writing that). I wish no one had ever mentioned that she might be early (especially not my midwife, although in her defense it’s not the end of the weekend yet!). I wish my grandpa hadn’t dreamed of storks, and Chris hadn’t noticed that the full moon will be here on Monday. I wish I were still walking around with a smirk and expecting to be at least a week late.
My nipples were tingling all day yesterday. I kept staring down at my shirt to see if I was like lactating or something. I’m wasn’t. I can’t believe my boobs are going to sustain life (when I told Chris this, he said, “They can sustain my life anytime… bow chica wow wow!”)
Insofar as any progress — well, nothing really to report. I had my most intense cramp so far (NOT a contraction) last night while watching Jeopardy, which I was kicking ass at btw, but that’s really it.
Chris asked me out on a “date” tonight. Kinda. There aren’t any movies out that we want to see. He doesn’t eat big dinners on weeks when he works, since he goes to bed so early, and dinners tend to be pretty pricey to eat out anyhow. So I suggested we head to Caffé Demetre and just have dessert for dinner. I don’t think I’ll be getting the apple pie again, though.
His mom flew in last night and I expect she’ll be over soon, so that may throw a little kink in our plans, but I will leave her here alone if I have to!
Also, I need more interesting webpages to visit. I spend all day rotating vapidly between World of Warcraft related pages, pregnancy/parenting blogs, and foodie blogs — but now that I’ve pretty much given up WoW and have no intention of returning, there’s a huge gap in my internet browsing habits. I guess I shouldn’t need to worry about that for too much longer, really… soon enough I may not even have time to keep up commenting on all my favourite mommy blogs!
My productive day
Published February 6, 2009 | Things I have done today:
- Walked up and down three flights of stairs a few times
- Washed nearly all of the dishes
- Laid down for a nap, woke up 20 minutes later, continued walking around while reading a magazine
- Scrubbed the bathroom door (it had some fingerprint smudges on the outside, why?)
- Searched, unsuccessfully but thoroughly, for my Swiffer duster
- Paced in circles while reading LLL literature
- Stood on the couch and cleaned the walls where we had marked out places to hang mirrors… which we promptly hung on another wall anyhow
- Got hot. Opened window. Got cold. Closed window. Started to sweat. Opened window. Closed it because the blinds were rattling.
- Put on a vaguely presentable outfit to walk around in, including a bra, because I worried about my boobs sagging.
- Opened the window, took off the bra and jeans, strutted around the apartment.
- Turned on some loud rap music and bounced around the living room making the dogs ‘dance’ with me.
- Made a 5 minute cake, then ate most of that cake while walking around the apartment (it’s a little too dense and spongy and strange for me to make regularly, but wtf did I expect from microwaving a cake).
- Posted this post.
I am now going to pace around the apartment some more.
I’m not the only one
Published February 6, 2009 | All week long family has been telling me “not yet! don’t have the baby yet! wait til (this day, that day)!”
Well, Chris’ mom is arriving tonight. My mom is arriving whenever the heck we need her too, weather willing (and there shouldn’t be any snowstorms showing up in the next week). The bassinet arrives tomorrow, the glider arrives… sometime (Sears won’t call us and tell us when it’s here, we have to call them and ask, which is stupid as shit).
This morning, my sister wrote on my Facebook wall telling me to get up and start running up and down the stairs or something. Chris called me and said “I was thinking… can you clean the house? Let’s just have a baby already.”
OH WHAT, EVERYONE WANTED TO WAIT TIL THE WEEKEND?
Anyhow, I’m going to clean. But I’m probably NOT going to run the stairs!
blah
Published February 6, 2009 | Chris and I woke up at the same time, in different rooms, this morning.
Him because his alarm went off, me because I feel like shit. My head aches, my eyes hurt, and I’m having those vaguely sickening menstrual-esque cramps — you know, the unrelenting soreness that lets you know your period’s about to start (and in my case, makes me gassy too)? Similar to the ones I had wayyy back at the beginning of my pregnancy where I thought for sure my period was going to set in… and then hoped desperately that it didn’t.
No more pink-tinged goo, although last night I attended a La Leche League meeting and for the last half hour or so of that, then the drive home and for two hours after, I was experiencing those “cervical cramps” I’ve had since Monday. I wish I had a better way to describe them — they’re uncomfortable, sharp twinges that are over way too quickly to be “painful”, but sometimes startle me nonetheless.
I wish we had more than one heating pad, so I could put one on my back and one on my lower abdomen. I’m antsy wondering if this achiness is going to get worse and develop into you-know-what. I took an ibuprofen, although I didn’t really want to lessen the feelings in my abdomen, but my head just hurts so badly. I only laid down at 1am, so I’ve gotten 3 hours of sleep. Hoping I can squeeze in some more relatively soon…
Possibly TMI
Published February 5, 2009 | 5pm update: No more goop, not even much cramping. Sigh. I’m so antsy!
I woke up this morning and didn’t want to get out of a bed. I was just too damned comfortable and warm. A few minutes later, Chris called from work — fortunately we had remembered to put the phone on the nightstand, so I didn’t have to move. So we blah blah blah (and he noted how guilty he felt about taking that woman’s dollar — I told him to pick up 2 plain Timbits for the dogs on his way home!), then I get off the phone and finally stand up.
Vag goop is felt.
So I rush to the washroom and wipe, and pee, and wipe … then stare down into the toilet to see if there is a “mucus plug” or any other sign of Progress. On my toilet paper there is a faint streak of pink. So I sit there thinking, and wipe… pick up Vanity Fair, and wipe… nothing… read the editor’s note, and wipe… and there, finally, in the continuous goop, more pink.
I’ve paged my midwife (said it was non-urgent though) and will hopefully hear back from her soon. In the meantime, my mom is getting all the gory details via MSN. I haven’t called Chris yet because I don’t want to freak him out.
But I have this total irrational urge to go sit on the toilet and wipe. Again.
Addendum: Midwife says it’s all normal and all good, just a sign of things going the way they should be and my body preparing. The cramping I’ve been getting is probably changing the shape/location/diameter of my cervix, and the cervix is very ‘vascular’ so blood can result from those actions. I asked if I was going to go into labour within the next hour… she laughed and replied, “Who knows?”